Aunty Alice shares ...

My dear James, Pam & Woan Min,

Thank you for a job well done. As your aunt, I am proud of all of you for being filial and respectful, grateful, showing so much gratitude and love for your grandparents.

I appreciate all that you have accomplished so far, trying to remember Gong Gong and Po Po in your own unique way, gathering all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to honour both of them. Indeed, it is a massive project.

I read the stories and I realised that being in the third generation, you simply remembered what your parents have told you, as you did not have the first hand experience as your mothers and I had. As such, some details are incorrect or missing.

Popo was born in Jesselton, North Borneo, now known as Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. Her biological mother was a Dusun, one of the native tribes of Borneo. That makes Popo half a Dusun, all her children a quarter Dusun and all of you one-eighth Dusun. I had seen Popo's ID and verified the information. I did talk about it to my siblings because I don't think they know about it.

Imchim is a Kadazan, another tribe of Borneo. There are a number of tribes in Borneo, as in Taiwan and China. Dusun and Kadazan are two of the major tribes at that time (please see Wikipaedia entry below). It is a pity that we have not been to Sabah. We shall go there together one day. I think only 2nd Aunty (Z E) had been there.

I only remember it whenever I am mistaken for being a Malay. The first question a taxi-driver often asks me when I get into the car is "Pergi mana?" I have gotten used to it as time went by, and do not get angry, just annoyed. Another occasion was when I was eating Malay food at the KK market. I ordered a glass of sugar cane juice from a passing drink seller. He was surprised and commented that he did not approach me because he thought that I was a Malay. Haha.

Regarding Popo's photo, the one of her standing near a wardrobe, that was probably taken during 1958 or 1959 in Winstedt Drive. I just wonder who was the photographer?

Our addresses from when I was born:

- I lived in 217 Kallang Road from 1947 to 1955 when I was in Pr. 1.
- I started Pr. 2 living in a big Kampong house at 50-C Lavender Street from 1956-1958. We rented one of the rooms.

A male classmate was living in a room on our right. I was surprised to see him when we shifted to this big house, which had a big courtyard in front and a long corridor behind. There was a cherry tree outside the house and there was a bench under the tree, I often sat there to read my story books. I always stayed at the corridor to study. A conducive place to study.

We shifted to 40-F Windstedt Drive in 1958 till the 80s, and then to Block 159 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 4.

Maybe we can gather in my house one day and tell our stories to one another. For Easter or After Sunday? Pam and Woan Min, please organise and revert to me. See you soon.

God bless all of us.

NA E/ 4 E/ Mum

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New: The gathering is currently scheduled for the 11th April. Please contact Pam if you wish to attend. I am so envious and jealous that I am not going to be there, but I will be there in spirit.

I seriously think this will begin a movement for us to visit Sabah. I remembered that there was talk to visit Sabah right after Po Po's death, but I don't know why it did not come to fruition. I think these stories will prepare us for this trip.

Can I just add that this is a important first step for us and we are so thankful and moved by the letter. Not so much the effort to put this together, because it was a labour of love and I gained so much from this, but more so that we are getting closer to the truth and bonding closer together as a family unit.

I hope that this will inspire more people to share their stories. Lastly, I believe everyone will be curious about one thing: What is Dusun? Here are two links that will explain more:

Wikipaedia

Orientation

外婆的传记 - 家史页 -

 你们认为我们当中谁长得最象外婆年轻时？

我们的外婆，亲称婆婆，黄金英，生于阳历一九二一年六月十六日，农历五月十一日，肖鸡。她的家乡是婆罗洲岛(现:哥打京那巴鲁)的东马来西亚，沙巴。

婆婆的父亲，外曾祖父，来自一个富裕的家庭，娶四妻一妾。外曾祖父原来自中国，当年南下到沙巴落地生根闯天下。他的母亲，外玄祖母却留在中国。

 

婆婆的母亲，大外曾祖母，是元配夫人，生两女一男。大外曾祖母在婆婆仅九岁时与世长辞。婆婆是大女儿，大曾舅父是老二，二曾姨妈最小。大曾舅父前几年在沙巴逝世，享年八十有几。二曾姨妈是个糖尿病痪者，在七十年代不幸逝世。

外婆的亲生母亲

当年外曾祖父曾留大外曾祖母在沙巴，只身回中国深造。外玄祖母为了挽留外曾祖父，强逼外曾祖父在中国娶二房。二外曾祖母膝下无儿，逝世于中国。

八岁的外婆与三外曾祖母和曾外公。想不到外婆不久后便丧失亲生母亲。

外曾祖父在沙巴续弦，三外曾祖母替他生了一女六子。三外曾祖母过逝时，一群子女还小，外曾祖父唯有再续弦娶三外曾祖母的大姐，大曾姨妈为妻。她也顺理成章地当起四外曾祖母。四外曾祖母一手带大一群孩子，自己却没生育任何子女。

外曾祖父与四外曾祖母

外曾祖父的妾，英金，现仍住在沙巴。她是位马来妇女，曾经是外曾祖父家的洗衣女佣。


当外曾祖父及四外曾祖母还健在时，四外曾祖母强迫外曾祖父把家产全权留给三外曾祖母所生的七名子女，没分半文给婆婆、大曾舅父及二曾姨妈。

外婆少女时代与三名身份不详的妇女 (据知:右一与右二是四与三外曾祖母。不知是否有人能确定?)

大曾舅父象爸爸一样白手起家，在沙巴和新加坡都有资产。不但在沙巴开了旅馆、旅行社及货币兑换商店，在京那巴魯山也有有度假村，也在新加坡有不少私家房产。 

外曾祖父曾建议买一栋房子让婆婆和三曾姨妈同住。但婆婆没有贪婪之心，也不愿与三妹妹同住一屋檐下，所以婉言拒绝爸爸的好意。

婆婆的家人及弟妹们常年都会从沙巴寄物件给她。但婆婆不自私也不贪图，总是把东西留给三妹妹。婆婆弟妹们的亲属至今聚居在沙巴, 澳洲与新加坡，不知何时能相遇。可能这只是我的妄想，但我相信婆婆可能会赞同我这样的想法。令我惊讶的是我们的亲戚虽然和我们有血原关系，但我们很多都从未见过他们。有可能我们正于其中一些远房亲戚在工作上合作，这也说不定。 

不知这是何时何地拍的？你晓得吗？

这只是婆婆人身的第一页。家史即精彩又复杂，虽然还差许多细节，但足于编辑成一本书或一部戏，不知是否有人能填补。细读公公与婆婆的人生经历，深深感受到他们年幼丧亲的痛苦，双双不仅十岁就得体会生离死别的悲痛，让我为自己能成长于一个幸福的家庭而深感庆幸。


以如今的情况来比喻，自小丧亲的人，多数长大后在思想上都会有些缺陷，但公公与婆婆却能在悲哀中脱颖而出，成为如此关怀、宽容及博爱之人。婆婆是否因失去母亲而得挺身照顾年幼弟妹，因此培养了母爱的直觉？婆婆常说：“无论我们生活多贫苦，也要帮助那些更需要帮忙的人，处处为人着想，奉献无限的关怀与爱心。”


我们亲爱的婆婆，在大家对您无限的赞美中，我今天为您再奉上一句“坚强”。

Who's who?

Thanks to Pam and Woan Min, things are starting to "heat up".

Before I share the wonderful stories that Woan Min has just imparted, I thought I might start off with this photo. Can you guess who's who (click on photo to enlarge)