Our grandma in her youth - who resembles her most?
Our grandma, also known to us lovingly as Po Po, Ng Kim Eng, was born on 16 June 1921 in Jesselton, North Borneo, now known as
Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, in East Malaysia.
Lau Gong (Po Po's father - our great grandfather) who was born to a rich family, married four women and owned a mistress in his life. Lau Gong’s mother, Great Great Grandmother remained in China when Great Grandfather (Lau Gong) departed to Sabah to start his family and business.
Po Po's mother (our great-grandmother) was the first wife and gave birth to two daughters and one son. She died when Po Po was only 9 years old. Po Po was the eldest daughter, 1st Lau Ku (Po Po’s younger brother) was second, and 2nd Lau Yee (Po Po Po’s younger sister) the youngest. 1st Lau Ku (Grand Uncle) passed away in Sabah in his 80's, just a couple of years back, while 2nd Lau Yee (2nd Grand Aunt) was diabetic and died in the 70's.
Po Po's mother (our great-grandmother)
When Lau Gong returned to China to study alone, Great Great Grandmother forced Lau Gong to marry another woman, who became our 2nd Great Grandmother (2nd Lau Ma), in a ploy to keep him in China. Unfortunately, or fortunately for us, her ploy failed and our Great-grandfather returned to Sabah. 2nd Lau Ma died childless in China.
Po Po together with her step-mother (3rd great-grandma) and father. Po Po is 8 years old in this photo. Her natural mother died in the next year.
Lau Gong returned to Sabah and remarried, acquiring his 3rd wife. 3rd Lau Ma gave birth to one daughter and six sons. 3rd Lau Ma also died when her children were young. 3rd Lau Ma’s elder sister, Dua Lau Yee wanted to take care of her younger sister’s children, so Lau Gong had no choice but to marry her, so that he could remain with his children. As a result, Dua Lau Yee became 4th Lau Ma but never gave birth to any children, dedicating her life to her sister's children.
Great grandfather with his fourth wife (4th Lau Ma or great-grandma)
Finally, Lau Gong’s had a mistress, Imchim, who is still currently alive in Sabah. She is Malay and was originally Lau Gong’s laundry maid. She was Lau Gong's (great-grandfather's) final love.
While Lau Gong was still alive, 4th Lau Ma also forced Lau Gong to will all his assets to her sister's seven children before she died, leaving his first wife's children, Po Po, 1st Lau Ku (granduncle) and 2nd Lau Yee (grandaunt), with nothing.
Teenage Po Po with three other women (believed to be from L-R: unknown, 4th Lau Ma, 3rd Lau Ma). Dua Yi is not entirely certain but knows that one of them is definitely 4th Lau Ma).
1st Lau Ku was a grand businessman like his dad, and struck his own riches. He owned many properties in Sabah and Singapore. They include a resort in Mount Kinabalu, a hotel, a travel agency and money changer in Sabah, and private apartments in Singapore.
Lau Gong had originally planned to buy a house for Po Po and 3rd Lau Yee (3rd great-grandma's only daughter) who were both living in Singapore, to live in together. As Po Po was agreeable with the, she declined his kind offer.
Throughout the years, Po Po’s family and siblings sent many gifts to her but since Po Po was always so thoughtful, she shared them with 3rd Lau Yee (grand-aunt). The next generations of Po Po’s siblings’ (our granduncles and aunts) currently span all over Australia, Sabah and Singapore. Personally, I think it is rather amazing to know that our relatives are so close in proximity but many of us have never met them? For all we know, we may be working with one of our distant cousins.
Does anyone know when and where this photo was taken?
This is the first segment of Po Po's life-story. Her own family history is so complicated and colourful that we believe that it deserves a post of its own, or even a movie if we can find out more (Hollywood, are you reading this?). There is still so much history yet to be uncovered in this, but I do not know if there is anyone else still around to provide us with more details.
My mind travels when I read these stories and wonder how both Gong Gong and Po Po felt at the time, losing a parent so early in their lives. To have to deal with grief at such a young age, I feel so blessed that I had both my parents love as a child, as do most of you.
By today's standard's, they should have turned out lost and dysfunctional, but they grew into incredibly loving, caring and giving human beings. Is fatality a much greater norm then that people just learned to deal with family deaths, or are they just much stronger then?
Did Po Po have to step up as a mother to her own younger brother and sister when her own mother died, which is why she developed such a caring and motherly nature. Is that why she always said that we need to help someone else in greater need than us, no matter how poor we are?
As I read and listen to many other stories that everyone tells me about Po Po, I start to realise that there are many things we give her credit for, most of all being a generous, loving, giving and caring person.
Today, I acknowledge a new attribute “Strength”.
